You’ve probably already seen this. I’m late to the party as usual but I just can’t turn away. Peg Aloi at the Huffington Post is distressed because women are blogging about girly things like knitting and baking cupcakes. (Found here) She begins, “Women are girly. Again.” No, sweetie, women are girly, still. It’s just that now we have the Internet. Like a lot of other people who used to keep quiet about interests that they were afraid were unpopular or weird, women who enjoy knitting, quilting, baking and all that other creepy domestic stuff are finding each other online and realizing that we are not alone.
You know, I always thought, even when I was just a teenager back in the 70′s, that the feminist movement was taking off in the wrong direction. Not that we didn’t need a movement. Contrary to the claims of feminists most women of earlier times did not feel oppressed but equality, freedom, more choices – yes, we needed that. But if we have to give up all things feminine to get that aren’t we really saying that the feminine is naturally inferior to the masculine? 20th century feminism said, “We must give up all the girly stuff to achieve equality and respect.” 21st century feminism should say, “We are equal no matter how we choose to live our lives. Respect us for what we are.”
Ms. Aloi talks a lot of about toughness and awesomeness while ignoring all the truly tough and awesome women out there. Most of her examples of what she considers female role models are fictional. She finds the “weird retro world of cooking, heirloom tomatoes and Jane Austen,” “smug and smothering” and asks “Where’s the fun?” That’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever read. Why do you think we’re doing all these things? Because it’s fun, silly! And if you don’t think it’s fun that’s fine. Nobody’s making you cook or knit or anything else. Why should what someone else chooses to do feel “smothering”? And if it’s smug, so what? Traditionally feminine women have been putting up with feminist smugness for decades. And by the way, some of us think we are awesome because we do this “weird retro stuff”.
I know there are women and girls who are genuinely not interested in any of the traditionally female activities and that’s perfectly fine if that is based on your true feelings and you’re not just acting that way “for the cause.” Wasn’t “the cause” originally about giving women more choices? So why do you have a problem with what some women choose? It’s their choice, and this might be hard to understand but it really has nothing to do with you, Peg. Just go your own way, mind your own business, and leave us girly women alone. We’re enjoying our lives.