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Also, 12 rules for dealing with introverts. I think #12 is the most important. No matter what a person’s orientation we should respect their right to be themselves. #2, #5 and #8… I thought those were rules for everyone. Part of what we used to call “common courtesy.”
I’ve never been totally sure that I’m really an introvert but I know I’m not a true extrovert either. Isn’t there something in between? I don’t mind (very much) being in crowds of strangers. A small group of strangers bothers me though. I like to socialize but it bothers me that I often can’t think of anything to say until it’s too late to say it. I prefer writing to talking and it makes me sad that none of my relatives, outside my immediate family, like the Internet (or even old-fashioned letter writing) so I really can’t communicate well with them. I feel like they don’t really know me and never will.
I do like and need alone time but that doesn’t mean that I don’t also like, need and even crave being around other people. And believe it or not, I like attention. My dignity is important to me though. I don’t deal with embarrassment very well at all. Even the most insignificant embarrassing moments haunt me for years. And I hate, hate, hate that many people think that if you’re not laughing, grinning or acting silly it means you’re unhappy. And I hate, hate, hate, that introverts are considered “boring”. Just sit down, be still, listen, give me time to think, and you might find out that I’m pretty darn interesting.
April 5th, 2012 - 7:04 am
I usually lurk, but I’m speaking up on this one:
the core definition of introvert/extrovert is what energizes you–do you recharge by going out into groups, or do you have to have some alone time?
A second rule of thumb is do you generally think out loud or in your head? e.g., if you are trying to decide to go to a restaurant, do you run the process of elimination verbally/out loud, or in your mind? Not a foolproof rule, but pretty accurate.
It’s also more of a continuum paradigm rather than an either/or. I peg the meter on the far end of the introvert scale, down in the hermit range, but I still enjoy going out and mingling and being in groups.
I do enjoy your blog and I hope you keep writing. I, for one, read it even if I don’t comment.
Phyllis
8)
April 5th, 2012 - 12:51 pm
Thanks for commenting, Phyllis.
It’s always nice to know there’s someone out there reading.
I’ve heard the “what energizes you” thing before. It’s not totally one or the other for me. If I’ve had too much of one for a while I need the other.
April 9th, 2012 - 4:24 pm
you ask if there is something in between… yes, she’s called an ‘ambivert’… someone who is reasonably at home in either situation. Susan Cain talks about the ambivert in her book, Quiet and the TEd talk… a paraphrased quote from her talk was if we were truly (extremely) introvert or extrovert, we would be in a lunatic assylum… so I take it, you’re in a good place.
thanks for sharing